Khandbari: Part 2

My timing to visit Khandbari and the school was ill-timed. With the beginning of the term rerouting our intended schedule at the beginning, and a strike at the end which closed the school. A strike was ordered by the Maoist group on all private boarding schools to protest the increase in fees in some schools by as much as 30%. For fear of property damage or other attacks, all schools in the country had to close. The morning that was planned to be my last day, only some unsure students showed up only to be sent home. I missed saying goodbye to the students.

The plane I was due to take was canceled, and Giriraj had to pull some strings to get me on an earlier flight (for which I was very grateful). That plane made it out, and I was very glad to get back to KTM.

The town of Khandbari was remote in a different way than the places I trekked. The people reacted to my size much more in a negative way that was very wearing on me. Giriraj liked to take me for walks through the town, to show me the sights, and I got the feeling he was happy to be seen with an American. He would stop to talk to anyone we met he knew, and they would stare and giggle and talk about how fat I was, while I was expected to stand there and wait. This might be 10 different people in 20 minutes. When this happened over and over, it got old to say the least. I avoided going for these walks when I could. I really don't think he realized how rude and uncomfortable this was for me. I used affirmations and worked to use it as an opportunity to really monitor my own thoughts and what I was attracting. I spent a lot of time in my room when I was too tired to deal with it. I had dealt with staring all across Asia, but it was different in Khandbari. It had a mean edge. I was still recovering from a bad cold, which added to the overall challenges.

When I had walked with the grandmother, who was this tiny beautiful woman, we made a funny pair. The people that came out laughed and noticed, but it was in this lovely lighthearted way. We all knew it was funny, but there was no judgment in it. When I walked with Giriraj, it was very different. It made me appreciate how Niraj and Krishna had been protective of me and respected me even in towns that reacted with more judgment.

I am traveling in countries with small people, and am working to find a better way to keep my heart open and not let that negative energy in when it happens. It is a lesson that will serve me well anytime I am in an environment that doesn't appreciate me for whatever reason. To ground in my higher self instead of in those around me. To more quickly see when my own ego is picking up the cry of my projected judgments and using them against me so I can make a different choice in my own mind. I am working on confidence, strength and humor, and disregarding external people and energies that do not jive with that.

Khandbari was a strange experience. I felt a burden to the people tasked to greet me at the school, mostly because the timing wasn't good. They did their best to take care of me, but between infastructure issues (transport, power, water) and a slow start to the session, and then the strike, it was difficult. Maybe I will see it as a cakewalk after I go to India.

Tomorrow I head to India. I don't know what kind of access I will have to report out, but have 3 missions in 3 weeks. They are: Find the Guru Maharajji outside of Mathura and try to meet with him (he is this amazing man I saw in the movie "Enlighten Up"); Volunteer with the pilgrims at the Golden Temple in Amritsar (they serve meals to thousands of people a day, and it takes thousands of volunteers in the kitchens to make it happen); and I will go to where the Tibetans are in Northern India, in McCleod Ganj, to volunteer at a center for refugees. Peace!